Bob woke up one morning to an unusual sight. There was a duck on his chest. While Bob wasnt what youd call a morning person and besides that, not the brightest crayon in the box, he knew that this wasnt what he should be seeing.
Hello, Duck. Why are you on my chest?
The duck quacked.
I see. Would you mind getting off of me so I can go to work?
The duck complied graciously. Bob rolled out of bed, and landed with his customary crash on the floor. As he got ready to start his day, he realized that Duck, as Bob had dubbed him in his head, was following him. Being, as we have mentioned, a few Fruit Loops short of a box, he thought this was cute rather than weird, creepy, or annoying. He shared his breakfast Fruit Loops with Duck, as he assumed Duck hadnt eaten yet, and it was rude to let your guests go hungry.
Duck and Bob left for Bobs office. Understandably, a man being followed by a duck garnered more than a few odd looks. Bob, blissfully clueless, stopped at a store to pick up a newspaper, a coloring book, and a big box of crayons. This was very considerate of him, because Duck would have been very bored sitting around with nothing to do all day.
Arriving at the office, Bob settled himself in for another productive day. Duck claimed one corner of Bobs office as Ducks Corner. Bob labeled it as thus, just so that Ducks Corner wouldnt be confused with anyone elses Corner. Some of Bobs coworkers, who had noticed that there was a duck following Bob around, watched these proceedings with no small amount of derision.
Bob, why is there a duck with a coloring book following you around?
If he didnt have a coloring book, he might get bored.
This earned some stifled laughter form the growing crowd in his office. I think he was curious about the duck, not the coloring book, there, Bob, another employee clarified.
Oh, that. Well, he was in my room this morning, and I figured it would be rude to kick him out when he hadnt done anything.
Say Bob, have you been to see a psychiatrist lately?
No, not lately. Why do you ask?
While Bob didnt grasp what the man was insinuating, Duck sure did. And what he was insinuating made Duck angry. These people thought that his Bob was crazy! This was unacceptable. Now, Duck had never been one to stand for anything unacceptable, and he wasnt about to start. Hissing, quacking, and flapping, Duck relentlessly drove every last one of them out of Bobs office. He then proceeded to settle back down in Ducks Corner with his nice new crayons.
Gee, thanks, Duck! It sure would have been hard to get any work done with all of those people in my office!
Duck quacked at him, accepting his thanks. For the rest of the morning, peace reigned. Lunch, however, was another story.
Bob, with Duck in tow, headed down to the cafeteria. As he prepared to share his sandwich with his new friend, a suspicious looking character entered the crowded lunchroom. He whipped out a gun and demanded everyones wallets. While all of the workers were helplessly handing over their cash, and the robber was checking nervously over his shoulder for security, Duck was unobtrusively coming up behind him. Suddenly and startlingly, in a flutter of wings and feathers, Duck flew up and perched on his head. This accomplished Ducks goal, and kept the thief distracted long enough to keep him from making a get away with the cash. Security apprehended the felon, who was quoted as shouting I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasnt for that accursed duck!
From that day forth, Duck was the hero of the office. Now when he was seen following Bob around the office, he was met with smiles and cheerful greetings, instead of snickers and jibes. Bob . . . Im not sure if Bob ever fully grasped what happened that day. But he was glad that everyone liked Duck as much as he did.
The moral of the story is: Be kind to your fine feathered friends, for a duck may save you from being robbed.